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Hi there

Following my earlier posts on the 7 types of listeners, below are some principles of listening.

1. Maintain eye contact with the person talking

2. Be sentitive to what is not being said

3. Observe body language for incongruent messages

4. Practice patience; speak only after the other person is finished

5. Do not interrupt, finish the speaker’s sentence, or change the subject

6. Listen to learn; pretend there will be a quiz at the end of the speaker’s sentence

7. Clarify any uncertainties after they have spoken

8. Make sure you understood what was said by rephrasing what you heard

9. Don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions; keep an open and accepting attitude

10. Practice pure listening; remove all distractions and minimize internal and external filters

11. Turn off your mind and “be with” the speaker; try to see things from their perspective

Whether you are the listener or the speaker, with practice and being aware of the above pointers, we will no doubt be able to achieve and become an “engagers ” listener.

As the saying goes, practice makes perrrrrfect!

Food for thought - “At the end of our lives, we don’t regret the things at which we failed - we regret the things we wished for but never attempted” - Robin Sieger

Success - Your Choice

Truly Yours

Nancy

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Hello there,

I came across this article and found it very interesting and thought I would like to share with you.

This article commented that typically, a woman can use an average of 6 listening expressions in a ten-second period to reflect, and then feed back the speaker’s emotions. Her face will mirror the emotions being expressed by the speaker. To someone watching, it can almost look as if the events being discussed are happening to both women.

Below is a typical ten-second sequence of a woman showing she is listening:-

A woman reads the meaning of what is being said through voice intonation and the speaker’s body language. This is exactly what a man needs to do to capture a woman’s attention and keep her listening. Most men are daunted by the prospect of using facial feedback while listening, but it pays big dividends for the man who becomes adept at the art.

On the other hand, men appears to listen like statues. This is because the biological objective of our male warrior when listening was to remain impassive, so as not to betray his emotions.

Here are the same range of facial expressions used by a man in a ten-second listening periods.

This is a light-hearted look at male listening technique, but recognising the truth in the humour gives it edge. This emotionless mask that men use while listening allows them to feel in control of the situation, but does not mean a man does not experience emotions. Brain scans reveal that men feel emotion as strongly as women, but avoid showing it.
Food for thought - “Those who try doing something and fail are infinitely better than those who try and do nothing and suceed” - Richard Bird

Success - Your Choice

Truly yours

Nancy

See how the Law of Attraction works in your life!!!

Hi there

Yesterday I talk about the 7 types of listeners and how we can improve ourselves if we belong to this group of listeners. We talk about instances that if we are “preoccupied” listeners, then we must make it a point to set aside what we are doing when someone is speaking to us so that conversations can be achieved.

What about situations where are talking to this group of people, let’s say the “preopcupied” to start of? How then do we deal with this group of people? The following are ways that will help us deal with them when talking to them.

1. The “Preoccupied”

When dealing with a preoccupied listener, begin with a statement that will get their attention, be brief and get to the bottom line quickly because their attention span is short. You might ask, “Is this a good time?” or perhaps say “I need our undivided attention for just a moment.’

2. The ‘Out-to-Lunches”

Check in with them every now and again and ask if they understood what you were saying . As with the “preoccupieds”, begin with a statement that will catch their attention, and be concise and to the point because their attention span is short.

3. The “Interrupters”

As for interrupters, when they chime in, stop immediately and let them talk, or they will never listen to you. When they are done, you might say “as I was saying before…..” to bring their interruption to their attentions.

4. The ” Whatevers”

When dealing with a “whatevers. ” , you must dramatize your ideas and ask questions of them to get their involvement.

5. The “Combatives”

For the “combatives”, when they disagree or point the blame, look forward instead of back. Talk about how you might agree to disagree, or what can be done differently next time.

6. The “Analysts”

You might want to say, “I just need to run something by you, I’m not looking for any advice, ” when dealing with an “analyst”.

This concludes the topic on the types of listener; how do we improve ourselves if we belonged to this grouping and how do we deal with them if we are faced with such listeners. Of course, it will be good if we can achieve to be a “engagers” listener as “engagers” listen with their eyes, ears and hearts and try to put themselves in the speaker’s shoes. Not only that, they listen at the highest level and their listening skills encourage one to continue talking and give one the opportunity to discover one’s own solution and let one’s ideas unfold.

Food for thought - ” I am one, but only one. I cannot do everything; but I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do” - Edward Everett Hale

Success - Your Choice

Truly yours

Nancy

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